#SLAA Online Group
GUIDELINES for Meetings, Behavior and Problems
Link to: "What behavior constitutes a problem?"
These guidelines are just that. The channel owner and/or Operators (OP’s) have discretion in specific cases especially where discipline is involved. However the channel must have consistency to be considered fair in dealing with everyone. It will be rare when exceptions are made. We always welcome suggestions. Please send them to any OP (operator) or to: firstname.lastname@example.org
1) MEETING PROTOCOLSex and Love Addicts Anonymous, or S.L.A.A., is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition oriented Fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous.
A) SLAA TWELVE TRADITIONS
B) STANDARD MEETING FORMAT
The format for this style meeting is quite simple. If you wish to share with the group, please wait until the person currently sharing is finished. Then wait until the Op is ready for the next person to share by typing “We are ready for the next share” then enter "!" to request "the floor". While sharing, please end each line with "..." to indicate that you are not yet finished and keep your sentences short for ease of reading. When you are finished, please say so by typing "done". The leader will then give someone else a chance to share.
When someone else is sharing, the role of the other attendees is to be "active listeners", whilst avoiding making "crosstalk". An "active listener" does not interrupt, judge, or ask questions, but may offer brief words of encouragement, such as: nods… agrees… understands... wtg... gfy... relates... "Crosstalk" is giving unsolicited advice to others regarding their share, speaking directly to another person rather than to the group during a share, and questioning, commenting or interrupting a member sharing.
Please take note of the number of participants in the meeting, and adjust your sharing time to allow everyone a chance to share. As per group conscience, most shares should be about 4 minutes in length* (see more detailed info on lengths of shares below) with a one minute wrap up; beyond that and the op will post a reminder in the room to please wrap up your shares so everyone will have a chance to share.
We will end the meeting with the "Promises" and a Prayer. At that point, everyone may chat informally. Thanks for your help in following this format! Meetings should last about one hour. Everyone should feel free to leave, but also feel welcome to stay as some of us will hang around for informal chat and even last minute shares for latecomers.
C) GIVING FEEDBACK
We only give feedback when it is directly requested, and only after the meeting or in pm (private message). Even during feedback, please remember to focus on yourself, sharing from personal experience, strength, and hope as it relates to the original share.
REMEMBER: We are NOT professional counselors! Limit feedback to your own experience, strength and hope (ESH) as it relates to the share you heard.
2) MEETING ETIQUETTEA) PRE MEETING
This is a great time to catch up on news, greet friends, and chat about your recovery problems and triumphs. For those who get here early there is usually some wonderful socializing. But we need to remember we are addicts and need to behave appropriately. We ALL need this #SLAA room to be as safe as possible and only you can do that. No amount of policing can keep it safe - just YOU!!!!
Keep talk to recovery, family and current issues in a safe fashion. This is NOT a time to flirt, engage in racy talk or attempt inappropriate behaviors.It is highly recommended that you keep talk in main channel. There is little you should need to say that is private and would require a private message window or DCC window.If the room is very crowded or a conversation is personal as between a sponsor and sponsee or between recovery partners then by all means open a message window. (Known as "talking PM/private message".) If you do, be aware that you have a responsibility to the other party to behave appropriately and safely. *Please honor the designation “nopm” in a member’s Nickname. It means they do not wish to speak in PM with anyone.
B) DURING MEETINGS
Refrain from welcoming friends into the room after sharing has begun until a share has ended. Just like cross talk this can be very distracting to the person sharing and is rude. Wait until a share is finished.
Remember that everyone had fragile egos when they came into recovery. We remember our own pain and difficulty getting words out. Be understanding and empathetic when making any comment. Be sure you understand what was said.
Please disable any automatic message systems that provide two or three lines of information on you, the time when you leave and when you will return from a channel or go away from the keyboard(AFK). These are very disruptive during a share. Simply changing you nick to <nick-AFK> is adequate.
C) POST MEETING
By all means socialize and make friends during this time if you can stay. We all need friends during this trying period of our lives. The good friends we make here will be some of the few friends we have where we can talk recovery without fear of misunderstanding and rebuke.This is a great time to get to know the people who can help your recovery. Finding an appropriate sponsor and recovery partner can make a substantial difference in your recovery success.For more detailed info, see the Behavior & Problems Guidelines below.
For Ops: As per Group Conscience the suggested guidelines for share times* are as follows:
at 4 minutes Op will send 1 minute reminder in a private message
at 5 minutes Op will send 1 minute reminder to main room
at 6 minutes Op will thank for sharing
beyond 7 minutes Op will de-voice individual sharing
Out of meeting:
at 10 minutes Op will send 1 minute reminder in a private message
at 11 minutes Op will send 1 minute reminder to main room
at 12 minutes Op will moderateat 13 minutes Op will thank for sharing
beyond 14 minutes Op will de-voice individual sharing
These guidelines are suggested only and actual times and actions are at the discretion of the Operator, as Operators know best how to serve the meetings they serve. (10/5/10)
D) BEHAVIOR GUIDELINES
The ability to keep this room safe is entirely up to you. Refuse to be a part of any sexual encounter.Please report all inappropriate behaviors promptly to a room Operator (an OP). They are the ones at the top of the names list with an @ before their names and lead meetings. These behaviors include any inappropriate language, spreading rumors about other members, harassment of any kind and sexual advances of any kind.
These behavior guidelines are just that — a list of suggested guidelines compiled over our room’s many years of existence to maintain the safety of all members. Please review this section, as well as the section called “Guidelines,” for a full understanding of our room’s policies and procedures. The #SLAA Channel’s “owners” (the current Chairperson and Co-Chairperson) along with the other officers and/or operators (OPs) collectively, have complete discretion in specific cases — especially where and when any discipline is involved. However the channel must have consistency to be considered fair in dealing with everyone. It will be rare when exceptions are made. We always welcome suggestions. Please send them to any OP (operator) or to email@example.com
In maintaining the safety of our room, we endeavor to follow the SLAA © Twelve Traditions. Since our room is open 24/7, however, when a person is found to be in clear violation of our behavior guidelines, we find that issuing a warning, which may subsequently lead up to a ban if necessary, is sometimes needed to provide safety to all of our members that may arrive — especially newcomers in the room when there is not an operator available to handle problem resolution. We are also hosted by StarLink-IRC.Org, so we need to be mindful of their concerns, as well.
What behavior constitutes a problem?
Does this apply to the #SLAA room between meetings?
How do we know if people in the #SLAA room are engaged in any inappropriate behavior?
This remains a difficult issue to resolve. We never automatically “log” any conversations and cannot “see” private messages between members. Therefore, we can only respond when you make a direct complaint by following the procedures listed in the “How do I report a problem?” section below.
If a problem arises in the #SLAA Online Group meeting room when you see a trusted servant (operator) present, please make them aware of the problem immediately.
While we do not allow “logging” of meetings, we encourage you to log any troublesome conversations with other member(s) — whether in the main room or in private messages — for the review of our room’s trusted servants.
Someone is being a problem for me. What should I do?
The first step is to be clear with the other party about boundaries. If that isn't sufficient, please seek out one or more of the Trusted Servants in the chat room (the one's with the “@” by their nickname). If none are there — or you prefer — please forward any logs and details to the Trusted Servants at our regular firstname.lastname@example.org address. You can also type: /ignore nick in mIRC and this will silence whomever you do not wish to see, whether in private chat or in the main channel.
How do I report a problem?
Do not hesitate to contact email@example.com if you have concerns.
If inappropriate behavior is reported, what action will occur?
A) An offender breaching the behavior guidelines will be approached by an op or officer and issued a warning in pm, stating the guideline breached (logging is allowed in this situation)
B) If the offender continues to disrupt the room, they will be de-voiced for a period of time up to 10 minutes serious room disruptions may require immediate de-voicing earlier before warning)
C) If the behavior continues, the offender will be kicked from the room with the reason briefly given in the kick message
D) If the offender continues to breach the behavior guidelines after all the above actions have been taken, they will be informed in pm of the guideline(s) breached and that a ban will be imposed. The length of the ban will be stated, and any request for lifting the ban should be addressed to the SLAA Online office at firstname.lastname@example.org
E) Ops, alone, may give bans up to one day. Officers, alone, may give bans up to one week. Permanent bans must be sanctioned by the SLAAOnline office. The SLAAOnline office must be informed by email from the banning Op/Officer of details of given ban, including nick, banned nick/mask, ban time, IP number, guideline(s) breached, and log of relevant room/pm conversations.
F) If a person is found to be evading a ban, then and only then should channels become involved, as noted below.
*When an Operator should go to Channels:
• When a person is found or suspected to be evading a ban or a G -line set by Channels
• When an Op is having trouble with technical issues
• For anything having to do with C-Star commands, such as fixing someone’s mask, etc.
"StarLink" are the owners of our Chat Room. We "rent" our chat room from them so to speak. Upon violation of the following of their rules, (see below) they may "G-line" a member (a ban placed by them which may be permanent). Please be cognizant at all times that not only does SLAA have guidelines, but StarLink has guidelines that must be followed as well.The following guidelines belong to that of our Server: The founding members of StarLink-IRC, after due deliberation, adopted the following principles (From - http://www.starlink-irc.org/sldocs/slchartr.html):
* The inherent and self-evident rights, authorities and responsibilities of Host Services, Channel Services, and Users shall not be abridged.
* StarLink-IRC exists for the sole purpose of providing its users with a safe, reliable, and secure place to chat.
* All Users shall, wherever possible, be provided timely assistance, support, and a voice in network.
* Deliberate abuse or harassment of persons or groups will not be tolerated - Abuse of authority is absolutely prohibited and will be dealt with swiftly and severely. - StarLink-IRC Operations shall deal immediately with any reports of abuse by members of StarLink-IRC organizations. - Within a Channel, the Channel Manager defines allowable behavior and may deal with violators as they see fit.
StarLink-IRC balances the inherent rights of free speech and the rights of users. Although supportive of alternative viewpoints and lifestyles, StarLink-IRC will NOT support advocacy of intolerance or abuse of the rights or property of others. The following Special Restrictions apply:
@ Channels and users providing or supporting Warez (stolen software) distribution or acquisition.
@ Openly pornographic channels soliciting, supporting or conducting on-channel sexual activities.
@ Channels and/or users advocating abuse of human rights, including cruelty, intolerance, child pornography, or similar subjects.
@ Cloning or flooding for the purposes of disrupting the network or its users.
@ Repeated abuse of privmsg or DCC chat to systematically or repeatedly harass users.
Violators will be permanently and immediately removed from StarLink-IRC, possibly without warning or appeal. Relevant records of prohibited activities or advocacy may be provided to appropriate authorities for further action.
Amendments to the Starlink Charter:
• Advertising/spamming is prohibited. Particularly advertising of other networks
• Malicious deception is annoying and thus prohibited. Malicious deception is simply lying to accomplish a dishonorable purpose. An example is falsely posing as a network staff member, channel op, or anyone else in order to falsely obtain trust or privilege. Specifically, malicious deception in order to obtain personal information or undue control in a channel is absolutely prohibited and will result in loss of privileges up to and including being banned from the network. Channel Services may or may not consider reinstating privileges lost pursuant to this Amendment as they see fit. Starlink-IRC staff and administrators will collectively enforce any sanctions resulting from violations of this rule.
SUBSEQUENT MOTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN PASSED:
These are some additional motions that have been passed by our group relating to Guidelines, Behavior and Problems ... please be sure to review them.
Motion: That SLAA Online adopt this revised code of ethics (from the Conference Literature Committee), in Business meetings, and in SLAA Officer Conduct. That this code be read at every Business Meeting, and given to new officers to read when they come on board:
*Our Code of Ethics:
To keep each of our meetings safe and productive, we:
Communicate our views honestly and respectfully on issues raised, especially controversial ones. We do not raise our voices, stoop to sarcasm, cuss, or try to bully others into our way of thinking.
Are tolerant when we differ. We share our meeting time fairly so that each of us has an equal opportunity to comment.
Are willing to put our egos aside when our opinions do not win favor with others. We are able to let go, trust our group conscience, and strive for the “unity and harmony that our Fellowship requires for the successful accomplishment of its primary purpose. Our service structure exists to support us” (per concept 6, from our draft ‘Framework for Living’) and works for the greater good.
Encourage one another by doing our part to maintain a safe and supportive atmosphere.
These points have proved to be our blueprint for success. We ask your cooperation in continuing these traditions as we work together in the coming months. Thank you for contributing your time and talents. Your Twelfth Step work is deeply appreciated!
(*used with permission from the Conference Literature Committee) (04/05/22)
Motion: Sobriety requirement for SLAA Online members giving Speaker Shares is 3 months continuous sobriety with working knowledge of 12 Steps & 12 Traditions. (01/04/22)
Motion: Disallow any connections to #slaa or #slaa2 through proxy/VPN/tor servers, without requiring discussion with user. In general, all connection methods that hide the user’s true location shall be treated in the same way as proxy/VPN/tor servers. (12/3/19)
Motion: Include the following in our scripts as a gentle reminder: Please review our Behavior Guidelines. We ask that persons sharing do not name specific places where they have a/o or the names of specific websites, social media site, or apps where sexually graphic material can be found or where liaisons may be procured. (2/7/17)Motion: Members applying at a Business Meeting to be OPs shall be asked by the meeting chair to confirm that they meet the requirements for Ops of 3 months continuous sobriety and a working knowledge of 12 Steps & 12 Traditions. Members not in attendance but applying in writing shall be asked to confirm meeting the requirements in writing. (5/3/16)
Motion: The 12 Step & 12 Tradition Meeting of SLAA Online shall be recognized as an English written/typed language. No exceptions. Any other languages shall not be used. Please refrain from using any other languages in regularly scheduled meetings, non-scheduled meetings and open chat. SLAA Online is moderated for the safety of all members. Any violations shall be dealt with in accordance with the present behavior protocol. (3/1/16)
Chair Clarification: The above motion is to enable all posts to be understandable for all and possible to moderate. Emoji characters are not allowed as they are based on a separate language character set and display differently across platforms. Traditional emoticons that have ascii text equivalents are however allowed as previously. (1/3/17)
Motion: Temporarily cut back our meeting schedule to Open Share meetings at 12:00 noon, 4:30 p.m. & 10:00 p.m. Eastern time, 7 days a week. (6/2/15)
Motion: Re-instate some scheduled Step and Tradition Topic Meetings as follows: First Monday of each month at 10 pm ET - Tradition Topic Meeting - Tradition number = Month number. All other Mondays at 10 pm ET - Step Topic Meeting - Step number = Month number by default or other number at Op’s discretion. (1/3/17)
Motion: To change the scheduled Topic for Sunday 4:30 pm regular meetings in #SLAA to: Sponsorship Topic Meeting. These meetings, moderated by an Op, will consist of a format which will include Sponsorship-related topics for open discussion shares. (5/1/18)
Motion: Change the Topic for Thursday 10 pm ET scheduled meetings from Open Sharing Meeting to Step Topic Meeting. (5/1/18)
Chair clarification: SLAA Online - Clarification re guidelines and autonomy. After reading, discussion and reflexion, the following clarification is made: SLAA Online Business Meetings are open to all members and the agenda motions are published in advance. In general, decisions by group conscience at SLAA Online Business Meetings apply to all of SLAA Online at all times unless otherwise stated. Each occurring individual meeting has though autonomy to take a meeting group conscience decision by the members present at the meeting, in matters that only affect the members present and without setting any precedent for the future. This may include an individual meeting making a group conscience decision to deviate from a specific guideline, for a maximum duration of that individual meeting. For reference: SLAA Traditions: 1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon S.L.A.A. unity. 2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as this Power may be expressed through our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. 4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or S.L.A.A. as a whole. (12/12/16, 5/12/17)
Motion: Resolved that in both the question asked of a new person in channels, and in pm, that they be written in such a way as to include that the person is considering that they might be an addict. Be it further resolved that our trusted servants be authorized to settle on the final wording. (11/5/13)
Motion: Sobriety requirement for OPs changed to 3 months continuous sobriety.
Motion: Add to our scripts, in the opening and perhaps also in the closing, a reminder of the 5th Tradition, that we have only ONE primary purpose, which is carrying the message of step 12, that a spiritual awakening is available as the result of working the 12 steps. (2/5/13)
Motion: Add in the "Respect 2" gentle reminder, both in the opening, and as a stand-alone script, wording explaining the !T post. (2/5/13)
Motion: To establish that a spiritual reminder may be called for at any time by any member when it appears that things have become tense, hostile, contentious, or otherwise negative. A spiritual reminder defined is where a moment of silence is called for, for members to reflect on the fact that we are a spiritual program. (12/4/12)
Motion: That at our monthly meetings we give the membership an opportunity to voice concerns and raise questions beyond the meetings resolutions of the day. The time should not exceed ten minutes and no member may have more than two minutes to express such opinions. (11/6/12)
Motion: An Officer or an Op who repeatedly and chronically relapses in their recovery may be asked to step down from their duties at the discretion of, and consensus of, the Board of Officers. (6/5/12)
Motion: Shorten Idle time before kick to 30 minutes when a meeting is getting ready to start, and 60 minutes in between meetings, so as to protect privacy in the room. (An unmonitored computer can be viewed by anyone passing by). Ops should query prior to kicking.( 3/1/11).
Motion: Members are prohibited from using the Trigger rule to *intentionally* interrupt, harass, or otherwise disrupt shares or conversations in the main room, as a form of spite or humor. The Trigger is to be taken seriously and should not be misused (3/1/11)
Motion: No one under the age of 18 may participate in our room (2/1/11)
Motion: SLAA Online Scripts may be used only by Group Conscience approved SLAA Online trusted servants and only in the SLAA Online channels. (12/4/18)
Motion: At the discretion of Ops, Reserve the last ten minutes of the meeting for newcomer chips/introductions. If no newcomers are present or do not wish to share etc. we can re-open the floor for general sharing. If a Newcomer request the floor at anytime before the last ten minutes of the meeting Ops can still give the Newcomer the floor, and run chips and give all the salutations if they want to or if it is very busy and there are many newcomers, they can hold the chips until the last ten minutes of the meeting. This is so that the main body of the meeting is not interrupted, but we can still introduce and welcome newcomers properly. (11/2/10)
Motion: Members requesting Ops cannot have had any warnings in prior 30 days (Date?)
Motion: The group has empowered the webmasters to make changes to the website (except major ones) without having to run everyone of the changes by the group. In other words, the webmasters are autonomous except major decisions. (date ?)
Motion: Ops inactive 45 days will be deactivated (3/4/99),(9/15/05) We will delete obsolete masks on Cstar (10/15/01), Ops must be sent a notice first that their status will be revoked unless they contact us and exercise their position by chairing at a meeting with 30 days of notice before we can delete them. (2/5/08)
Motion: Whoever is to do work (on the website) receives an email from slaaonline.org that states any work for this site is free of charge to the group and that it is also stipulated that all rights to claims of work for the group belong solely to the group that person(s) who help are to return a reply email with that message in the body with the words "Yes I agree" to the above – motion carries 3/6/07
Motion: A member may only speak once per topic on a motion (precedence) 4/3/07
Motion: If the Chair resigns, Co-Chair is automatically elevated to Chair. (precedence set the first time 1/15/06).
Motion: Any member will be able to appeal to the group's trusted servants (Officers) whenever they feel an operator (officers included) has acted improperly in using the powers granted them to moderate meetings. Upon review of the complaint, the operator may be suspended from operator status until such time that a group conscience vote can be taken to address the issue. The group Conscience of the #SLAA Online community will determine if the operator is to be re-instated as a trusted servant or not (8/1/06).
Motion: A copy of the minutes should be sent to all ops so they know what is going on (9/5/06)
Motion: Speaker meeting shares may be posted on the website with the speaker's permission (2/15/03).
Motion: Vacant board positions may be filled by a vote in the business meeting (by precedence) 4/15/03.
Motion: Private messages and emails that are unsolicited may be considered problem behavior (7/15/02).
Motion: Robert's Rules of Order are to be used in biz Meetings (3/11/99). Also: Please note how Robert’s rules of order are to be used: “In the interest of tackling all of the items on this agenda and allowing everyone the opportunity to speak on the extremely important topics, suggest the following format in this meeting: Each topic under New Business will begin with a motion being made: That motion will then either be seconded or set aside. Upon the motion being seconded, discussion will begin. During discussion, only friendly amendments will be accepted to the motion. An amendment will be considered a friendly amendment if the original provider of the motion concurs with the amendment. Everyone will be allowed one share on each motion presented. Each share will be limited to 3 minutes in length. The end of discussion will be the point at which a vote is taken. A vote was taken on following this format and the Motion passed. (2/15/07)Unsolicited private messaging (PM) is not permitted, regardless of content.
Motion: Private messaging is a middle or bottom line behavior for some members and can be highly triggering or even endanger sobriety. All members should therefore ask permission, in the main room, before contacting another member in a private message (PM). Sexual or otherwise inappropriate messages are never acceptable. Private messages to or from an OP (trusted servant) do not however require prior permission and a PM from an OP should always be answered promptly. Please report any breaches of the SLAA guidelines to an OP, or copy the conversation and email to email@example.com (1/2/18)
Chair Clarification re non-12-step related literature in #slaa
(updated May 5, 2019)
SLAA Online Guideline problem behavior #14:
Posting Web links unrelated to the Twelve Steps of Recovery, or which are political or religious in nature or otherwise considered controversial. Links which are posted must be clear that they are not affiliated with our group or SLAA as a whole (if it is not from our website or from slaafws.org) (minutes 6/1/10)
- shall even be taken to include posting in the #slaa room specific citations or specific references to texts or organizations unrelated to the Twelve Steps of Recovery.
– SLAA texts related to the Twelve Steps of Recovery from slaafws.org or slaaonline.org are permitted without clarification.
– non-SLAA texts related to the Twelve Steps of Recovery are permitted if clarified that they are not affiliated with our group or SLAA as a whole.
– citations, references or links to texts or organizations unrelated to the Twelve Steps of Recovery, or which are political or religious in nature or otherwise considered controversial, are not permitted.